just wanted to add: http://www.somethingpositive.net – I read a couple webcomics regularly – most often http://www.penny-arcade.com, http://www.pvponline.com, and http://www.aikida.net – mostly game humor crap, but Something Positive is really, really compelling. If you have a free couple hours, start at the beginning, and read all the way through. I don’t know shit about RK Milholland – maybe he’s a hundred – but he writes characters like a wise man, watching the world through a telescope from Mars, who can see right into your brain. I don’t know how he does it, but I’ve almost never seen anyone with such a natural talent for writing dialogue that sounds a.) like the characters he’s created would say it, and b.) like the characters are illuminated by it.

When I was first turned on to it, I was more or less unemployed. I read through the entire run, start to finish. Took me a couple hours, but they were hours well spent. This guy has got talent. Serious, serious talent.

It’s heartbreaking, sometimes – I’ve been watching Firefly, and reading Something Positive. Reminds me of when I read Frank Miller’s books, or Carl Sagan’s. Or when I played Ico, or Prince of Persia. Heartbreaking in some sense, because I see genius. I know enough to see it, to understand it, to know that I will not *be* it. I drew for years, and developed skills, but never had talent. I played instruments for years, and developed skills, but never had *talent*. I have a great love of videogames, and have skills, both analytical, and otherwise, but I fear, in many ways, that I will be able to recognize talent enough to not see it in myself.

Mobius is learning to walk by my side. Takes a fistful of treats, but he’s getting the picture. Watched a couple episodes of Firefly, played some of Galleon, Klay came over, fried some rice in a wok, over a turkey fryer burner (HOT), went swimming with Sean & Christy, Sean and Hoa came over to hang out & watch Firefly (which brings us back to the beginning, though this list is in no particular order). Fun day. Tired, most of the day, and almost skipped swimming, ’cause was close to napping, but I’m glad I went. Hell, I’m almost never glad I don’t go, and I’m always glad I do. Gotta get back in shape – definitely getting weak, and the knee’s suffering for it.

Kinda strange, though – last time we were in the pool, Seanpointed out I was looking too far forward on my freestyle. This has been a problem *forever*, and is likely because I’m so used to looking forward while swimming breaststroke & butterfly. And every time I start swimming consistently, I end up focusing on fixing it, but then I hop out of the pool for a couple months, and I’m back to swimming like my neck is broken. It’s definitely a huge part of why my freestyle’s relatively slow, and always has been.

Weak, though – I can barely finish a 50 of fly, and I used to be able to sprint 200 standing on my head. It’s a pretty strong indicator of how out of shape I am – I doubt if I’ve ever been this out of shape save for following a serious injury, and even then, I recovered quickly because I was younger. I suppose that’s what you get for sitting in a cube 10 hours a day, and only getting up to go to lunch. I’ve gotta start doing a regular exercise regimen, but I say that *all the time* and never follow through.

Sorta weird, as well – Klay mentioned the possibility of moving back to LA. I feel bad, because on one hand, if he does, it’ll be for something he really, really wants to do. Which, of course, I’m 100% for. So, where does it fit in the percentage that I hope he *doesn’t* go? I suppose it’s like any friend, that you want them around for purely selfish reasons, but he’s one of the best friends I’ve got, and it’s weird, because most of my other friends, I’ve known for about five times as long. Whatever happens, I hope things work out, and I’m sure they will whichever way things go. But just to register my melancholy now, there you go.

3169 songs on the iPod, filling 12.96 gigabytes.

What I’ve been watching: Firefly (intensely incredible), Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex (a really, really great adaptation of Masamune Shirow’s original manga – quite different from the movie). The Bourne Supremacy (weirdly non-three-actly structured, if you get my drift. Good, but I think I liked the first one more. WAY too much shaky-cam).

What I’ve been playing: Galleon (from the makers of the *original* Tomb Raider) – does some interesting things, has some flaws, stylistically, is something most people wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole, yet quite endearing, and looks to be a good time. Only about an hour and a half in so far. Toe Jam & Earl III – just picked this up again after having played it maybe once before. Weird, simple, very old-skool in feel, but strangely entertaining nevertheless. Not a $50 game, but a $10 game? Sure.

What I’ve been reading: Michael Moore: Dude, Where’s My Country? – standard Moore stuff. Strangely little to say beyond that, honestly. Jon Stewart: Naked Pictures of Famous People – weird. Beyond that, I can’t really say just yet. Starts off … weird.

Dog + skunk = suck.

Dog paranoid from being sprayed by skunk barking at 4am = suck.

Dog vomiting on rug at 7am = suck.

Dog + skunk + barking + vomiting = no sleep for me.,

Bleah. Tired.

seppo

Busy, busy. Working quite a bit. It’s sort of strange – I’m not even working totally ludicrous hours – long hours, sure, but not ludicrous. But last week, I was *exhausted*. I came home one night, hopped into bed at 9:15, and slept ’till 7:40. It’s the intensity of the work, in many respects. I tend to be really good at juggling three or four ideas at once – if I need to come up with something genuinely interesting, I can background a bunch of processes, and I’ll be able to do a few things actively, and passively work on a couple others. But ten tasks at a time? All with deadlines, and dependencies? If I literally had someone spitting deadlines at me on a regular basis, I’d do a lot better – but mentally juggling priorities all the time is really, really tiring for me, and it’s definitely taking its toll.

Otherwise? Not a whole lot going on. Cleaning, organizing.

Watched The Last Samurai this morning. Beautiful movie, and in many respects, excellent. The ending I wasn’t too keen on, but that’s largely because it ended largely as I expected it to end – Tom Cruise teaching the Japanese what it means to be Japanese. Bleah. But the development up to that point was mesmerising, and both Ken Watanabe’s character, and the cinematography really make the film.

Makes me sort of miss the zen-like qualities of needing to focus on one thing, and attempt to excel at it. Later in the day, I went swimming, and it occurs to me that when I swam competitively, it’s likely to be as close to the sense of inner calm and focus that I imagine a samurai would feel when they achieve the sense that they are willing to die at any time. I know that sounds odd, and it’s obviously somewhat of a different magnitude – but the sense that your mind and body are focused solely on one thing, and doing that to the extreme extent of your ability… I miss that.

Even if I were to focus on work in the same manner, the … it’s weird – it’s focusing your mind on one thing, and turning off your body. My mind is running all day, my body is sitting still. It’s quite a different experience. But I don’t really know what one might do as a career that would fuse the two, short of being a professional athlete, or a member of the armed forces.

That, and I have to be jealous of the notion that one would lay down their life, at any time, for a cause – service, defense of your country, your culture, what have you. Do I feel that sense of loyalty to my country? No. Do I feel that sense about say, Ei-Nyung, or some of my friends? Sure. But I doubt if I’d ever be asked to lay down my life, or be given the opportunity, to defend the people I love. The world doesn’t work the same way. Not that I want that. But it is a strange feeling, and it feels almost like that’s the way we *should* be wired – to do something with that intensity – but we don’t anymore.

I dunno. Just rambling.