When a number of people all have the same problem with you, doesn’t it stand to reason that there’s some chance the problem is with you, not with them?
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When a number of people all have the same problem with you, doesn’t it stand to reason that there’s some chance the problem is with you, not with them?
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We’ve talked about this a lot over the years and I know that particularly recently, it’s been weighing heavily on your mind.
I think that the decision you have to make is, do you want to be happy with the way you express yourself, or do you want to be happy with the way others perceive/understand you?
You (and everyone else, actually) have to bridge the gap between how you want to say something and how you want it to be heard, and be able to modify it on the fly to adjust to the listener of the moment.
The tradeoff is that you will, for a long time, really feel like you are editing and stifling your natural voice constantly, and wonder if it’s worth it to communicate in such an unnatural feeling way. I think in some ways, I picked up these lessons because I had to, because I was picking up a new language when I was young and had to rely on body language a lot more at an age when people no longer consciously pay attention to non-verbal clues or to the visible reactions to verbal communication. I’m not that good at it, but I generally feel on alert most of the time, even now, as a result of years of training.
So the decision will rely on if you think it will be worth it. I think that in the long run, it will be worth it to have people be able to truly see you and not get stuck on the methods of communication.
Also, it is good for everyone to take a long, good look at themselves in the mirror, but also be able to assess others to see when it would or would not be worth the trouble to go the distance with them. And you’ve become much better at that part of things over the years.