It’s 3am, and I just got home from work. Turns out, one of the production interns got hired on for next year as a designer. My work satisfaction took a nose dive hearing that. Why? Do I think she doesn’t deserve it? I have no idea. She’s a hard worker, but more so than anyone else? Not really. Does she know the ins and outs of the system, and the way that the game systems work? Certainly not as well as say, I do. I guess I’ve never been at a company where there are people actually vying for positions, and maybe that’s where I’ve made a mistake. I talk to the people I work with, I do my job as well as I can, but I’m not really social outside of work, and I don’t hang around work after the job’s done. Do I feel like that’s why I wouldn’t have gotten a design position, and she did? Yeah, I think that’s more or less it. And that pisses me off. Whether it should or not, I don’t know.
I’ve got a concept for a game I’ve been working on since my first day at Maxis, and I’m gonna be spending the time after the game ships, when it’s normally down time, trying to implement that design to the best of my ability, and see if it’s interesting. But I guess it’s another year as a straight OE. Maybe I’ll just have to kiss more ass, or something. *sigh*
“I guess I’ve never been at a company where there are people actually vying for positions, and maybe that’s where I’ve made a mistake.”
Welcome to the real world, sucker! 😉
But seriously, way back in the “day”, I was in a similar position as you. And when the other person got the “job”, it was like a bucket of water over my head regarding the ins and outs of the workplace. And frankly, how it isn’t the well-functioning meritocracy we all hope it will be. After that first experience, it was all downhill from there in terms of facing up to the reality of the “rat-race” and living the reality of being both paranoid, but also having everyone out to get you.
A_B
I only have one thing to say: A_B should blog more often. 😀