Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Ok? Let’s be clear on that point. He’s a fairy tale, just like the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and many other wacky creations people have made up over the years. I’ll stay away from the obviously inflammatory followup to that.
But I simply don’t get why people get upset when their kids are told Santa doesn’t exist. I just read a CNN article about how a recent episode of Everybody Hates Chris “gives away” that Santa doesn’t exist. You know what? I don’t give a flying fuck.
Why do we tell our children lies, and get upset when those lies are revealed? Do we not want them to know the truth? Do we not want them to understand the difference between reality and fantasy? Can a child not live a rich, full fantasy life and not understand that it’s just that, fantasy?
When I built spaceships out of my old living room chairs, when I was eight, did I think it was real? Did I enjoy the process any less? Just because you, parent, have become some sort of deluded cynical shithead that you think that for your child to be entertained, they need to believe the lies are real, think about what you’re saying, for a moment.
You’re saying that you explicitly want to lie to your child, to obfuscate the distinction between what is real, and what is not, and you’re getting *upset* when the lie is revealed, and the child is shown the truth.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I’ll stay away from the obviously inflammatory followup to that.
😀
We discussed last night that there is a HUGE difference in something like me honestly believing in the existence of God and telling someone else that, and EVERYONE IN THE WORLD (aside from those we lie to) knowing that there is no such thing as Santa but still having some of those people wanting to perpetuate a lie to children.
There is also a vast gap between “make-believe” and “pretend play” in which children are on to the fact that it IS pretend, and lying to them and really trying to make them believe something that (again) everyone in the world knows is a lie.
Once in a while, I pretended to my little brother that there was Santa when he was little, but it was a very “wink-wink, nudge-nudge” process and he was fully aware that this was a part of the pretend-play that we engaged in. That was fun. But perpetuating a lie to him for no reason except for my own entertainment or to appease some weird sense of my own “lost childhood” would not have been.
Wow, Seppo, I diagree 100%. I won’t go on too long for fear of taking over your blog’s comments section, but I’ll just say I completely disagree.
A TV show is one thing; I don’t know the target age for “Everybody Hates Chris,” but I can’t imagine it’s aimed at the kids who are still the age to believe in Santa Claus. Getting upset over that is silly.
The idea of somebody ruining it for children who do still believe, and rationalizing it by saying that they’re just telling the truth — that doesn’t get me upset, that gets me incensed.
And I’m glad you avoided the “obvious inflammatory followup,” because that would’ve been messy. If I hear one more person try to equate theism with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy (or the other favorite, the “magical pink unicorn”), I’ll be forced to say something not in the spirit of the season.
So Merry Christmas, everybody!
Merry Christmas to you, too! 😀
I think there’s a difference between someone running around and saying, “Santa Claus is a fake! A fake!” and someone getting pissed off that a show happened to let the truth slip. The first is just sort of mean-spirited, but the second… well, where do you draw the line? I mean, it’s like a spoiler, right? So, if you’re maybe 5, the cultural “norm” is that you might still believe in Santa Claus – but what about when you’re say, thirty?
But the bigger point (and again, let’s just draw the line at the whole religion thing, to avoid particularly messy arguments), is, that why, as a cultural construct, do we have things like Santa Claus, and the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny? And moreover, why do we treat something like Santa Claus as something that we have to “protect” the illusion?
I understand, say, fables, and fairy tales – certain things communicate life messages/lessons/what have you in a way that someone can understand in a context-rich setting, as a memorable story, so that they might not have to learn these lessons the harder way.
But the whole Santa thing is, to me, just creepy, as a construct. Do I want my children to believe, say, that there’s a fat man who lives in a ridiculously inhospitable climate, who delivers presents to everyone in the world in the course of a single evening, and keeps tabs on them throughout the year, even in their most private thoughts?
Seems like a pretty weird, paranoia-inducing delusion, to me. Maybe I’m just being overly cynical?
The point isn’t that I want to run around telling kids that reality sucks, and their fantasies are baloney – but why are these fantasies constructed, presented as though they were *real*, then people get pissed when reality actually sets in?
And feel free to take over the comments section, Chuck – I’d love to hear your perspective, *particularly* if it’s totally different than mine.
seppo
Oh, and the two particular things that spurred the post, since after re-reading, one of them is never even mentioned – one was that the backlash against that episode of Everybody Hates Chris was front page “news” on CNN, and the other was an episode a week prior or so where a teacher was reprimanded for answering a question truthfully, as to whether Santa was real or not.
Those two things are so totally ridiculous to me – particularly the teacher one, that it just made me really irritated. On top of Fox News’ whole fabricated “war on Christmas,” it’s just so completely bonkers that it just boggles my mind.
Yes, as an event, I enjoy Christmas – I celebrate my little completely non-religious incarnation of it (as Chad might label it, “giftmas” – hell, as Chad would *most certainly* label it), and spend time with my family. Truly, not the original purpose of the holiday, Saturnalia aside.
Still, it’s not like I’m not entertained by Santa Claus – and it’s not even like I have any issues with kids being entertained by Santa Claus. But as Ei-Nyung said, it’s a very “wink-wink, nudge-nudge” sort of entertainment, not “he’s a real guy, and really does all this stuff,” to the point where I would get upset if, for instance, a teacher said that Santa didn’t exist, when asked a direct question by a fellow student.
Anyway – just an explanation as to where the original wording came from, since most of the people who read this site aren’t going to have been privy to the inner workings of my brain.
and the other was an episode a week prior or so where a teacher was reprimanded for answering a question truthfully
Every version of the story that I read and heard says that she wasn’t responding to a question, but that she pre-emptively interjected her disclaimer because she just couldn’t bring herself to spread “a lie.”
If a child had asked her point blank whether Santa were real, it would’ve mitigated the story some. It’d still be possible for anyone with some class to dodge the question gracefully, answering the kids without feeling you’re “lying” and without disappointing them. But for her to volunteer it is just self-serving arrogance.
read your post, and responded on your blog – the story I read was different, though of course, like a complete tool, I can’t find the link (though I posted a similar one).
Bleah!
The sooner people stop treating Santa Claus as a living breathing person, the better. I saw that EHC episode (althoug I didn’t hear about any backlash), and wondered to my wife, again, why people still lie to their kids.
I guess it’s a tradition, and it’s kind of cute, but overall, it’s strange.
I think the saving grace of the whole thing is that it’s the first time I can remember getting one over on my parents. I figured out there was no Santa at some point, and it made me feel pretty clever to see through them and to have figured out their story.
I didn’t resent it and it didn’t bother me. I got the point of “the lie.” But it did feel good to feel “oh so superior” when they talked about Santa and I thought “suuuuure, Mom. Whatever you say …”
In any case, I think the whole continued use of Santa Claus is strange. If any kid asks me if there is a Santa, I’ll probably give an answer like, “only if you believe in him.” Which, technically, is accurate. You can create your _own_ reality. Sure, that’s the definition of insane, but …
My wife and I have been having this very discussion quite a bit during this Christmas season. As Christians, we obviously celebrate Christmas with an eye towards Jesus. I also don’t want to overtly lie to my children about something as stupid as Santa.
So how to you keep the “magic” of Christmas, yet not push the lie? Who says that kids (especially little ones ie under seven or so) won’t have as much fun pretending about something. Make Santa part of the festivities, but whisper to everyone that it is make believe. Make it a family secret. Have fun with it.
I don’t know. It seems like such a useless lie to feed to your kids. I could understand if you knew the world was going to blow up in a month and you just wanted the kids to enjoy the rest of their life. You might lie in that situation and at LEAST have a defense about it…but a fairy tale character? Come on, people.
As I mentioned, we did the same with my little bro. We definitely wanted him to have fun with the idea, just not outright lie to him. So it was like this:
Me: *looks at bro knowingly* Oh yeeeeeah. Santa is totally coming.
Bro: *skeptically* Really?
Me: Uh huh. See this box? He sent it ahead.
Bro: Didn’t I see you wrap that earlier?
Me: Naaaaaw. You must have seen someone else. *innocent grin*
Bro: *grins evilly, looks through all the presents* How come Santa didn’t bring you anything? Must be because you were bad.
Me: Me? No way.
I never believed in Santa Claus as a child, but I definitely believed in the sprirt of the season. To me, Christmas has always been about spending quality time with those you love (whether it’s friends or family or both). It’s the reason I can absolutely adore Christmas music that is religious in nature even though I’m an atheist. Sure, I don’t agree with the message of the music, but it’s just so heartwarming and makes me feel all sorts of goodwill towards mankind. Plus, I like the presents. =)
When I was about five or six my mom came into my room to leave money from the toothfairy. She decided to give me my stash in change that year and it dropped all over the floor, waking me up and revealing that *she* was the toothfairy. She was crushed thinking she had ruined it for me. I remember being that young and saying, “do you really think I thought there was a toothfairy?”
Too cynical, even as a child.
– Becky