just wanted to add: http://www.somethingpositive.net – I read a couple webcomics regularly – most often http://www.penny-arcade.com, http://www.pvponline.com, and http://www.aikida.net – mostly game humor crap, but Something Positive is really, really compelling. If you have a free couple hours, start at the beginning, and read all the way through. I don’t know shit about RK Milholland – maybe he’s a hundred – but he writes characters like a wise man, watching the world through a telescope from Mars, who can see right into your brain. I don’t know how he does it, but I’ve almost never seen anyone with such a natural talent for writing dialogue that sounds a.) like the characters he’s created would say it, and b.) like the characters are illuminated by it.

When I was first turned on to it, I was more or less unemployed. I read through the entire run, start to finish. Took me a couple hours, but they were hours well spent. This guy has got talent. Serious, serious talent.

It’s heartbreaking, sometimes – I’ve been watching Firefly, and reading Something Positive. Reminds me of when I read Frank Miller’s books, or Carl Sagan’s. Or when I played Ico, or Prince of Persia. Heartbreaking in some sense, because I see genius. I know enough to see it, to understand it, to know that I will not *be* it. I drew for years, and developed skills, but never had talent. I played instruments for years, and developed skills, but never had *talent*. I have a great love of videogames, and have skills, both analytical, and otherwise, but I fear, in many ways, that I will be able to recognize talent enough to not see it in myself.

Mobius is learning to walk by my side. Takes a fistful of treats, but he’s getting the picture. Watched a couple episodes of Firefly, played some of Galleon, Klay came over, fried some rice in a wok, over a turkey fryer burner (HOT), went swimming with Sean & Christy, Sean and Hoa came over to hang out & watch Firefly (which brings us back to the beginning, though this list is in no particular order). Fun day. Tired, most of the day, and almost skipped swimming, ’cause was close to napping, but I’m glad I went. Hell, I’m almost never glad I don’t go, and I’m always glad I do. Gotta get back in shape – definitely getting weak, and the knee’s suffering for it.

Kinda strange, though – last time we were in the pool, Seanpointed out I was looking too far forward on my freestyle. This has been a problem *forever*, and is likely because I’m so used to looking forward while swimming breaststroke & butterfly. And every time I start swimming consistently, I end up focusing on fixing it, but then I hop out of the pool for a couple months, and I’m back to swimming like my neck is broken. It’s definitely a huge part of why my freestyle’s relatively slow, and always has been.

Weak, though – I can barely finish a 50 of fly, and I used to be able to sprint 200 standing on my head. It’s a pretty strong indicator of how out of shape I am – I doubt if I’ve ever been this out of shape save for following a serious injury, and even then, I recovered quickly because I was younger. I suppose that’s what you get for sitting in a cube 10 hours a day, and only getting up to go to lunch. I’ve gotta start doing a regular exercise regimen, but I say that *all the time* and never follow through.

Sorta weird, as well – Klay mentioned the possibility of moving back to LA. I feel bad, because on one hand, if he does, it’ll be for something he really, really wants to do. Which, of course, I’m 100% for. So, where does it fit in the percentage that I hope he *doesn’t* go? I suppose it’s like any friend, that you want them around for purely selfish reasons, but he’s one of the best friends I’ve got, and it’s weird, because most of my other friends, I’ve known for about five times as long. Whatever happens, I hope things work out, and I’m sure they will whichever way things go. But just to register my melancholy now, there you go.

3169 songs on the iPod, filling 12.96 gigabytes.

What I’ve been watching: Firefly (intensely incredible), Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex (a really, really great adaptation of Masamune Shirow’s original manga – quite different from the movie). The Bourne Supremacy (weirdly non-three-actly structured, if you get my drift. Good, but I think I liked the first one more. WAY too much shaky-cam).

What I’ve been playing: Galleon (from the makers of the *original* Tomb Raider) – does some interesting things, has some flaws, stylistically, is something most people wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole, yet quite endearing, and looks to be a good time. Only about an hour and a half in so far. Toe Jam & Earl III – just picked this up again after having played it maybe once before. Weird, simple, very old-skool in feel, but strangely entertaining nevertheless. Not a $50 game, but a $10 game? Sure.

What I’ve been reading: Michael Moore: Dude, Where’s My Country? – standard Moore stuff. Strangely little to say beyond that, honestly. Jon Stewart: Naked Pictures of Famous People – weird. Beyond that, I can’t really say just yet. Starts off … weird.

Dog + skunk = suck.

Dog paranoid from being sprayed by skunk barking at 4am = suck.

Dog vomiting on rug at 7am = suck.

Dog + skunk + barking + vomiting = no sleep for me.,

Bleah. Tired.

seppo

Busy, busy. Working quite a bit. It’s sort of strange – I’m not even working totally ludicrous hours – long hours, sure, but not ludicrous. But last week, I was *exhausted*. I came home one night, hopped into bed at 9:15, and slept ’till 7:40. It’s the intensity of the work, in many respects. I tend to be really good at juggling three or four ideas at once – if I need to come up with something genuinely interesting, I can background a bunch of processes, and I’ll be able to do a few things actively, and passively work on a couple others. But ten tasks at a time? All with deadlines, and dependencies? If I literally had someone spitting deadlines at me on a regular basis, I’d do a lot better – but mentally juggling priorities all the time is really, really tiring for me, and it’s definitely taking its toll.

Otherwise? Not a whole lot going on. Cleaning, organizing.

Watched The Last Samurai this morning. Beautiful movie, and in many respects, excellent. The ending I wasn’t too keen on, but that’s largely because it ended largely as I expected it to end – Tom Cruise teaching the Japanese what it means to be Japanese. Bleah. But the development up to that point was mesmerising, and both Ken Watanabe’s character, and the cinematography really make the film.

Makes me sort of miss the zen-like qualities of needing to focus on one thing, and attempt to excel at it. Later in the day, I went swimming, and it occurs to me that when I swam competitively, it’s likely to be as close to the sense of inner calm and focus that I imagine a samurai would feel when they achieve the sense that they are willing to die at any time. I know that sounds odd, and it’s obviously somewhat of a different magnitude – but the sense that your mind and body are focused solely on one thing, and doing that to the extreme extent of your ability… I miss that.

Even if I were to focus on work in the same manner, the … it’s weird – it’s focusing your mind on one thing, and turning off your body. My mind is running all day, my body is sitting still. It’s quite a different experience. But I don’t really know what one might do as a career that would fuse the two, short of being a professional athlete, or a member of the armed forces.

That, and I have to be jealous of the notion that one would lay down their life, at any time, for a cause – service, defense of your country, your culture, what have you. Do I feel that sense of loyalty to my country? No. Do I feel that sense about say, Ei-Nyung, or some of my friends? Sure. But I doubt if I’d ever be asked to lay down my life, or be given the opportunity, to defend the people I love. The world doesn’t work the same way. Not that I want that. But it is a strange feeling, and it feels almost like that’s the way we *should* be wired – to do something with that intensity – but we don’t anymore.

I dunno. Just rambling.

Just to hop on the bandwagon far, far too late for it to be useful:

Firefly is AWESOME.

That is all.

To the Nader supporters outside Safeway today:

I didn’t want to sign to put Nader on the ballot for a couple reasons, but I didn’t want to get into them either, because the pair of you were such sanctimonius jackasses I thought you were doing a pretty good job of burying your cause on your own.

But seriously, what about Nader is it that you like? His outsider status? The fact that he’s not tied to one of the big political parties? Here’s what I liked about Ralph Nader – he fought for the little guy, and he stood for something. He had a sense of integrity.

You’ll notice that that’s all past-tense, and I assure you that it’s intentional. But we’ll get to that.

What is it that you don’t like about the major political parties? The sense that the little guy doesn’t get heard? The sense that every politician is at heart, a sellout? The sense that no one’s actually standing up for the people, but rather, both parties are beholden to corporate interests?

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2004/07/09/MNGQQ7J31K1.DTL

http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/06/30/bush.nader/

That’s just two examples, and in case you’re too tired from haranguing people outside Safeway, I’ll sum up.

1.) Nader is accepting money from lots of people that have been supporting the GOP. Now, Nader would have you believe that it’s because libertarians and a lot of conservatives are unhappy with Bush, but I would tell you that if you believe that… you’re an idiot.

2.) Nader is accepting help from such entities as the Oregon Family Council – a right-wing, conservative pro-life group. If you believe that that’s because they support Nader’s platform more than Bush’s… you’re an idiot.

And that’s just the first two links I happened upon.

So tell me this: which is worse? A “normal” politician, or someone who sells out their morals and ideology to get on the ballot? Why would I want to even have the chance to vote for Nader, if he’s going to sell out to right-wing interests before he’s EVEN ON THE BALLOT?

And have you heard his response when he’s questioned about it? It’s traditional political doublespeak – how dare you slander me with such blah blah blah, despite documented *proof* that this is happening.

I would vote for Nader before I voted for Bush. Sure. But only because I’d vote for a pile of maggot-infested shit before I’d vote for Bush. Nader, unfortunately, has proven himself to be only marginally better than the pile of shit. And he’s trending downwards.

So, you bitch about not letting people have “choice.” Here’s *my* choice. I’m gonna tell you to go fuck yourself.

Picked up Das Experiment, The Singing Detective, and The Last Samurai at Blockbuster, used, for $25 for the three. It’s kinda weird that I’ve actually been able to find a bunch of relatively obscure movies in the pre-viewed-for-cheap bin at Blockbuster – stuff I can’t find in Best Buy. *shrugs* Yeah, I know it’s the Evil Empire.

Been sleeping really weird the last few days – every morning, it’s been really hard to wake up. Describing it to one of my co-workers on Monday, I said that getting out of bed was like trying to dig myself out of my own grave. That night, I got to sleep at like, 1, which wasn’t too late, but I kept being woken up by a really strange dream I was having. I don’t remember much of it now, but it involved a zombie Ronald Reagan chasing me around a jail, wielding a huge machine gun. Zombie Ronald Reagan was ripped, like Rambo. Very strange.

Mobius decided NOT to bark at 6am for the first day in like a week, for which I’m grateful.

Other’n that? Not a lot going on since the last post. Heading out to dinner tonight with a friend I haven’t seen in a couple years, so I’m looking forward to that. Then, heading home for either some Counterstrike with the folks from TGF, or trying out Burnout2, which I borrowed from EA’s library. Saw Burnout 3: Takedown at a recent press event, and it look *phenomenal*. As does Need for Speed Underground 2… but that’s a different story.

Sitting here. Ei-Nyung’s outta town. Cleaned up a bunch, and rearranged some of the furniture. Did a bunch of laundry. When we got the new shelving system for our closet, we’d picked up something on the order of two hundred plastic hangers. Turns out, after doing all the laundry… we need more. It’s crazy.

In the mail: Just got Outfoxed, a documentary by Robert Greenwald on Fox News. Pretty illuminating. Nothing I hadn’t heard before, but like Farenheit 9/11, it’s the presentation that really drives the points home. Interested to see how a Fox News fan would react, but my guess is they’d label it as spin, and that would be the end of it.

Whee!

Hm. Yeah. Gotta figure out what to do for dinner. Not much currently in the fridge, and I’m going out to dinner Tuesday, so I’m a little relucant to pick up too much stuff.

Hung out with Klay most of the day, which was pretty good – just lounging around mostly, playing games. Went out to grab some lunch at Barney’s. Really couldn’t have been a better day to be outside. Came back, and then took Mobius for a walk. Went out to the dog park. Fun stuff.

Ah, 12:20am, sitting here at EA, fucking waiting for some god damned lightning to strike, in order to figure out what the fuck is wrong with the stereos in the game. Simple fucking change, not a problem in the world with it when I left at 6pm today to go to a BBQ, and when I got back to work at 9, the god damned things are crashing the game. What the fuck. So I’m sitting here at 12:30 in the morning, trying to figure out some garbage that can’t possibly be my bug, and getting progressively more and more pissed off that I have to deal with other people’s lousy shit on a Sunday fucking morning.

Argh.

Not happy at all.

I’m gonna be pretty majorly pissed, either at myself, or at someone else when this bug clears out, let me tell you. God fucking dammit.

Feeling good about work. I think I’ve been cranking pretty well, and tomorrow, (yeah, I know it’s Saturday) I’m gonna go in and clear out all my bugs, and make some improvements to the in-game stereo system. It’s weird, though – nominally, that’s the entirety of the work I need to do until Wednesday of next week, but they want people in this weekend to do stuff for a big demo next week. I suppose I could get some stuff done on the early side, but so much of what I’m doing is waiting on art to be done, it’s sort of hard to say, yeah, I can really get ahead. Maybe I’ll clear out my bugs, and start working on this idea I’ve had for a bit. Could be interesting.

I miss having unfettered weekends, though. Sure would be nice to work more regular hours, but I suppose we’re in alpha crunch, I shouldn’t expect much. We’re gonna be pretty hosed in the next couple weeks, due to the art lockdown, and the following code lockdown. But it’s nice to know that we’re at least approaching the finish line. There’ll be *lots* of tweaking, and such, but I think it’ll be relatively straightforward, and nothing’s gonna jump out that’s too surprising.

*crosses fingers*

Spent some time last weekend clearing rocks out of the front yard. Yeah, it’s sorta strange that they’re there, but there’ve been rocks all over the front yard for a year or so due to the construction that finally finished up. So now the front lawn is (relatively) free of rocks, and it’s probably time to start figuring out what to do about it, landscaping-wise. Be interesting to see what we can come up with that’s relatively low maintenance.

Mobius is doing well. Ei-Nyung has taught him (mostly) to squeak his squeaky ball on command, which is cute. I’ve gotta figure out something to train him to do. I was thinking maybe I could get him to turn the lights on and off, so that he could keep the house lit, as long as he’s interested in staying awake. That’d be sort of funny.

Neck’s sore. Slept on it funny, and the right side of it feels like a steel cable running through my neck. Hopefully, that’ll clear up soon, ’cause it’s pretty unpleasant.

On the iPod: 2503 songs, 6.9 days worth of music, 9.75/20 gB used. I thought I’d ripped like, 75% of the music I have, but after a reorganization, I’m actually only at about half. Yatz!