So, I watched another of the special features discs that came with the new, ridiculous Blade Runner set that Ei-Nyung got me for Christmas. Part of me constantly marvels that the movie was ever made. The amount of detail and sheer vision that went into its creation is staggering, and given that it was, in various measures, the “vision” of Ridley Scott, Hampton Fancher, David Peoples, Jordan Cronenweth and Philip K. Dick, each competing in some way with each other, the fact that it is so focused and so intricate just boggles the mind.

The problem with it all is that it’s like looking at, well, any piece of artwork in a field or genre that you’re familiar with enough to know that you’re unlikely to achieve that level of greatness. With my job, I have a reasonable amount of creative freedom. The boundaries I have to work in make the job challenging, and in many cases, rewarding. The balance between boundaries and limitations motivating creativity and stifling it can be a tricky one to walk, however…

Then there’s the “vision” thing. I have to ask myself, do I have a *vision* for a game – both the narrative experience and the interactivity – that’s so strong, so total, that I could conceivably marshall a group of people to a destination so grand? No. I’m not entirely sure that anyone does. The question seems to be more, can you look at the landscape and adapt, guided by a purpose or meaning? Can you take information where it comes – integrate it into your view, and still retain the creative values of a great core idea?

I think I can. With games, I think my single strong point is that I can see how a system interacts before it’s made, and picture why it is fun, interesting, or rewarding. I know enough about a wide variety of fields to speak competently about them. Experience with music, knowledge of music theory, experience drawing, film theory, some engineering experience, a strong mechanical background… these sorts of skills have actually happened to be exactly relevant to my job in exactly the right way for me to be in a position of being the person to marshall a diverse team towards a single goal.

Could I make something that I would put next to Blade Runner? No. Not yet – it’d be stupid of me to say that I’m in a position like that. I don’t have enough experience at this point, no question. But over the next few years, I think the goal will be to develop the skills that *will* let me take the reins – to marshall that creative vision and move it forward with the goal of creating something extraordinary – something that can stand next to something like Blade Runner. There’s no sense, frankly, in shooting for anything less.