Quick iPhone Game Reviews

The various iPhone games I have right now. Recommended in bold.

must.eat.birds
Fieldrunners
Dr. Awesome
Monkey Ball
Word Warp
Tris
de Blob
Morocco
Enigmo
Mazefinger
Uniwar – close
Top Gun
Peggle
Blimp – close
Eliss
Textropolis
iShift
Azkend
The Last Cannon – close
Real Racing
Rolando
Topple
iDracula
Tap Tap Revenge 2
Galcon
GeoDefense
Scramble
Pocket God
Flight Control
iSR
Lemonade Tycoon
Underworlds
The Creeps!
Car Jack Streets
Apple’s Texas Hold ‘Em
Zynga’s Live Poker
Trixel
Pew Pew (It’s FREE!)
cs.one
Star Defense
Hero of Sparta
Knights Onrush
Let’s Golf
Mass Effect Galaxy
Warpack Grunts
Doom Resurrection
Zombies & Me

While I’d say most people could get the bolded titles and have some fun, there are a couple others that are close, and some that are well done but I still can’t really recommend without substantial reservations. (Uniwar, iSR, etc.)

Some are clearly well-put-together, but for whatever reason, totally failed to grab me. Underworlds and Car Jack Streets are both more “involved” games, and one’s basically a Diablo clone, which I thought would have been a sure recipe for success, but I can’t bring myself to be bothered to play them. I think it’s that I don’t feel like there’s any reasonable return on the time I put in, unless I sit down with it for longer than I’d want.

Some that I’d actively anti-recommend:

I *hate* Mass Effect Galaxy. Mostly because I really enjoyed the console game, and ME:G is *so* bad that I find it offensive. The combat sections are boring, unremarkable, and the loading in between every section is inexcusable. Worse than all that, the story sucks. The writing is horrible, the interactive dialog is really poorly done, and it’s an insult to the franchise. I want to like it, but I can’t.

Warpack Grunts, on the other hand, is just a bad game. The control scheme is incredibly poorly thought out, and despite some charming humor, and really nice explosions, the game is actively awful to play. Clicking on the screen to move and double-tapping to shoot means that when you’re panicking, it’s impossible to either more or shoot reliably. Since screwing up basically means instant death, and there’s no save system, the game’s just a constant “fuck you.” Easily one of the worst game I’ve played on the system.

I also wish EA’s Zombies & Me was more fun. I like the concept, but the execution is really sloppy. When you die, there’s no “game over,” or death animation – the game just abruptly switches to the “Game Over” screen – it’s incredibly jarring, and really feels more like the game has just arbitrarily stopped you, and not that you lost. The game could be a LOT better with a 1.1 update, but as it is, even at a buck, it’s not worth getting.

Also, cs.one seems to be really highly acclaimed, but I hate it. Maybe it’s just the “thrust” genre (think Asteroids’ control scheme), but the game basically kills you with poor controls, then insults you when you’re dead. While it’s got a really neat aesthetic, the overall game structure isn’t very compelling, the controls are incredibly difficult to use well, and overall, I find it more tedious than fun.

Of course, all of these games took a lot of people a lot of time to make, and some of them are clearly ambitious and challenging. But some of ’em just aren’t worth the money. :\

Of all of them, if I had to recommend only one other game, it’d have to be Real Racing. Firemint’s gone way, way beyond anything else on the iPhone so far, and it’s an incredibly compelling racing game, even with the simplified controls.

Second would probably be Doom: Resurrection. Yes, it’s a rail shooter. But it’s a rail shooter that’s so appropriate for the platform that you really don’t even feel the lack of control over the movement.

Yeah, they’re expensive at $10 each. But I’d take either of those over 90%+ of any 10 $1 games.

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